Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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