don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
