Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
