My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
