Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize