The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize