Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize