Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
