Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
