Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
