he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
