there's paper in my vomit.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
only you would photoshop your dick
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize