I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
