I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
