Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
