porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
