just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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