Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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