my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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