dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
