no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
