He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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