Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
