I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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