you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
