I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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