Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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