Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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