Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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