Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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