Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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