Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
