I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
