Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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