Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
