I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
