That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
