No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
