Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
