Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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