i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
