can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
