he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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