So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
