So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
