In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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