wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
