it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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