no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
