So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
