Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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