Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she told me i tasted like america
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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