My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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