i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
