fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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