Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
