Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
